It’s that time of the year when we naturally look back on what the last year brought us, and we look forward to what we hope the next year will bring.
I love a goal, and I think goals are so important. However, this year I’m not making any new New Years Resolutions, as I want to focus on the things that have always been important – in terms of self care and a happy mind.
Last year was one of the worst years of my life. Despite getting married and moving out (which are both obviously wonderful things as well as being seen as social achievements) I honestly spent most of the year in a living hell.
Throwback to this time last year, and I was heart broken looking at everyone’s posts about how happy they were for the year ahead. They were getting married or getting a new job or buying a home. And whilst I was also, facing promotion, getting married and moving out – none of my happy things could begin until my soon to be hubby had been deployed with the raf for 4 months. (This is another subject I want to touch on and I think there’s so much that needs to be said for the military wags who are left behind – especially those who are not yet married- therefore have no special treatment in terms of the military world and are often deemed as unimportant.)
2017 went by and I hit rock bottom, where I stayed for months, before finally having the best day of my life. I’m a fighter, but no matter how hard I tried to meditate, to walk more, to take my meds, to socialise, to seek therapy and medical support, it was a shitty time that I wouldn’t want anyone to endure.
The wedding came and went. And whilst it was heaven for the day, and I am so ridiculously blessed and happy to have married my best friend – mental health really doesn’t give a sod if you’re ready to be “all better now!” And you do have to continue on your journey of getting better, despite all outsiders viewing your life as practically perfect. I have the husband, the house, the dog and hopefully in the not so distant future I’ll have a family. It’s perfect!
This New Years Eve I decided to sod the pressure of doing something absolutely fantastic and planned to do something I love. A chill night with family. Good laughs. Good drinks. And the option to wear pyjamas. It would honestly the best New Years Eve of my life, and as Big Ben chimes and I kissed my husband Happy New Year, I felt a wave of relief that I’d left the year that nearly broke me.
So it’s January 1st and I’m in the bath with a glass of wine. I have no intention of doing dry January or joining a gym. I have no intention of cutting out food I like. No intention of setting myself any ridiculous resolutions.
This year I’m just going to be kind to myself. Whilst that can be seen as a resolution, it’s a journey I’ve already begun, and one I simply want to practice and perfect.
Whoever you are I hope you don’t feel the pressure to change, just because the date has. Always be you, just strive to be the best you that you can be, but remind yourself that it takes time. It could take months, it could take years. You may have fall backs and days where you feel like you’re making no progress at all. But there isn’t a deadline. Loving yourself and being kind to yourself is a life long gift from you to you and it deserves the time, respect and patience that we are all worthy of.
Whoever you are, I hope the rest of your life is filled with love. I hope you don’t feel the pressure to state you had the best year of your life. Of the pressure to shout out to the world that you’re going to smash 2018.
Just be you.