Mental health is just as important as physical health.
In my experience of anxiety – not only are you struggling with your mind – you’re most likely experiencing physical symptoms too. Wahey – you’ve got the whole shebang!
Now, whilst I would not say I was the absolute epitome of ~zen~ (and anyone close to me would scoff at the thought) I have gotten a lot better at calming myself down. Sure – I still have melt downs. I still get moody. I still panic. But I’ve been able to reduce the intensity of this by working through my thoughts and feelings.
I’ve been kinder to my brain.
However, I have found that the more I am able to manage my brain – the less my body decides to play ball.
I first experienced physical symptoms of anxiety a few years ago. I was constantly seeing stars and feeling dizzy. I’ve been anaemic several times across my life span so logic called and told me to get a blood test. Blood tests results in and I was a vision of health. Perfect scores across the board – so what the eff was wrong?!?!
The dizziness and faint spells continued, so of course, I decided to go back to the drs and DEMAND that someone take me seriously. (You go girl!) I chose to see a different Dr -one who wouldn’t just ‘poo-poo’ me as a hypochondriac – and I saw someone who was so kind and calm, someone who took the time to listen to me. He told me it was feelings of anxiety.
First thought – how on earth can me being worried make my hands shake, and cause my vision to blur? How on earth are these two things related?
Second thought – I am not anxious? I go out. I have friends. I have a job. Sure, I mean – I’m highly strung – but that’s not anxiety… is it?
Fast forward to the present day where I have already started my journey of wellness, and have actually done some research into mental health. The brain is powerful. It can do a tonne of shit.
When we experience anxiety – we go into ‘fight/flight’ mode. Our body is trying to prepare us for a perceived threat of attack. Of course – this means the body is going to respond with certain changes.
If any of you have read my previous blog posts – I spoke about starting meditation. I recently started doing this to calm my mind – to become more aware of the present. And ultimately – to calm the hell down.
I’m hoping I can do this to also help ease the physical symptoms I experience on a daily basis.
Whilst they’re not debilitating – they are a pain in the arse, and can be quite scary!
I love work – but my morning routine of getting ready to leave the house, is normally accompanied with shaky hands, sweaty hands (sexy), blurred vision and the feeling that I am just not with it. Whilst I really enjoy my hour long walk to work, as it really helps to clear my mind, sometimes the faint feeling is so strong – I feel too weak to walk, and a cab it is!
Self care or laziness? I’m calling it self care.
Now – once I have finally made it to wherever I am going. I face a plethora of annoying and embarrassing symptoms. I feel like I have to pee every 5 minutes. I literally have no desire to shake anyone’s hand, because mine are clammy. My tummy bloats and feels so sickly. My skin blushes to roughly the same shade of red as my hair. I sweat A LOT. And my pulse feels so strong, I’m pretty sure the vein in my head is going to explode – legit.
Now – I’m writing this post without actually cracking this. I don’t actually have a solution or magical cure to breeze through the day with a cracking and normally functioning body.
I began this blog a year into my journey – and it’s easy to give off the impression you’re a know it all – a life guru. I wanted to show that people can speak out about things before they know what to do – because ultimately – we are all learning. It’s normal to be a bit lost. And it’s normal to start somewhere.
If any of you out there are experience physical symptoms of anxiety – I feel ya! Take a minute to applaud yourself for being you everyday despite the hardships you’re facing. Whether you’re having a good day or a bad day or a meh day or WTAF day – well done for facing the day!
Take some time out to really notice what’s going on with your body – and I hope you will join me on the journey of taking some control back and riding through or minimising the physical symptoms.
You’re a warrior!