“Stop bringing up the past. Just get over it”
Thanks TiNA, I hadn’t thought of that. Let me just let go of my entire past and move on.
Obviously – I am aware that it is very unhealthy to live in the past, or to carry negative experiences with you throughout your entire life. But, we do have to start accepting that they are a part of our lives? They make us who we are? And there shouldn’t be this huge rush to get over anything instantly.
Those of us with anxiety, often experience the present through the trauma of the past, and the worry of the future. So many factors influence our current state. Present Mindfulness, is the norm that we all so desperately seek out and inspire to experience – but it isn’t always the automatic go to. That’s fine. We weren’t born to be perfect.
Our past experiences influence us greatly. Both for the worst, and for the better. You wouldn’t be who you are today, if it had not been for every single second of your life. In a previous blog post, I spoke of being like a paperdoll; forever changing and evolving, but carrying out entire selves on our journey through life.
Whilst this is all sounds very spiritual and Namaste – I want to be open about the negative aspects that come along with this.
I am very lucky that I am progressing quite well on my journey of healthy mental health – and that my days are feeling a little bit brighter, and the world a little bit kinder. However, there are some days where I just feel so angry – and I don’t even know why?
I often find, that I am holding on to so much negativity from the past. Relevant – or not. I am carrying the experiences of hurt, betrayal, loss, and despair. Why? To brace myself.
So many of us are quick to roll our eyes when someone dares mention a negative experience that happened to them so long ago. Whether it be an ex, an argument, a death, an accident, or even just a shitty experience – these people, places and events brought about an intense reaction within your body, and that’s going to have a long lasting affect.
Of course – we all strive to enjoy our lives and are hopeful for the future. But sometimes, it can be a tad easier to live within the gloom – to almost accept our fate that gloom is impending. Not saying this is the right thing to do – but we’re all only human.
You would not expect someone with poor eye sight to be able to read without glasses – so why is there, this forgetfulness that anxiety comes with its own difficulties? If everything was hunky dory – there wouldn’t be anxiety.
When you have anxiety – you aren’t always in control of your brain. You spend so much of your time expecting the worst – it’s a no wonder that you can easily recall every single time something went wrong. Why? Not because you’re a dramatic pessimist, a negative nelly – but because every single one of those times hurt you. Each heartbreak and upset represents a time that your anxiety was right – you were let down and broken.
You picked up the pieces. You had to fix yourself. You had to pick yourself up from every rock bottom. It’s only natural to prepare yourself for the next time you need to fight back again. To hold on to the reminder that something might happen again – so just be careful.
It’s time we start allowing people to experience whatever they are experiencing. It’s time we start sympathising with what people are experiencing. The more we tell people to get over their past – the more they’re going to hate it, fear it, battle with it. Let us ride out the journeys we are on.
I am a human – a good human, sometimes I hold on to the past. Deal with it. I have to deal with it more than you do.