I honestly thought that once I had waved goodbye to being a teenager, the most awkward years of my life would be over. Whilst being a twenty something has brought along balanced(ish) hormones and a better dress sense – I still find that most days I ask myself – wtf am I actually doing?
I’m at the awkward age where I’ve culled my friendship list because I’ve grown as a person – it is not out of bitterness or anger, just my wellbeing – but feel as though the main purpose of your twenties is to be with friends, and as many as possible? I don’t have a family to tend to so shouldn’t I be getting black out wasted at a bar?
I’m at the age where I’m too bloody old for drama – and I cannot be bothered with any negative energy. I ditched the bad vibes a long long time ago, and whilst this was great for my life and self-esteem (if anyone is in my life now, they are people I actually want to see, and people I enjoy being with) there’s something odd about going from having a huge (okay not huge, but you get me) group of friends – to several lovable besties.
Despite the positive impact this smaller group has had on my life – I am forever seeing group shots of #brunch and #dranksssswiththegals and wondering – should I be doing that? Should I be living the dream with a huge gang? Am I weird for not doing that? Am I a ~loser~? Or have I just got a zero tolerance approach to unnecessary drama? Am I more concerned with meaningful connections than the number of people I could invite to a birthday bash?
Whilst, I don’t think there is a right/wrong approach to friendships in your twenties nay ever, and I do not wish to offend anyone with a huge group of friends – I feel like there is always pressure to nail it. Your twenties is a time when you are leaving education for good – the place where you are most likely to hang with a plethora of buddies – and into the working world, where you may not even like anyone you work with. People move away, priorities change, lives change – and your friendships shift because of this.
“When I was your age I was married in a house with two kids”
Not only do you have to question if your social life social enough? There’s also the question of love. I find this is such a controversial topic. Ladies of the 70’s will rejoice that I, Heather, am married young and am cosied up in a home (which I don’t own). I’ve somehow followed in my forefathers footsteps and married at the tender age of 24. Whilst some people view this as enviable, and wonderful. Go you, for finding love! There’s also a group of twenty-somethings that would most likely mock me and my beau. “You are far too young” There is this perception that getting married young means you are boring. You should be travelling the world, partying, hooking up with as many people as people – errrr, no. I can do whatever I want, just as you can.
I find your twenties is just juxtaposition after juxtaposition.
Travel the world // start your career
Holiday every second you can // save for a mortgage
Don’t settle down ~find yourself first~ // find love before you’re 30
Literally – fuck off.
Your 20’s is a huge period of transition – and quite frankly, it feels like no mans land. Ignore all the lists of “things you should do in your 20s”, “10 things most woman discover in their 20s”, “men you should date before you find the one”, “why you shouldn’t settle down until your 30” – bla bla bla.
Being 2-? is just a period of your life, just like any decade of life is an era or a period. It’s hard as it is to change from the safety of education and living with parents – to maybe starting a career, maybe leaving home, and maybe meeting new people. Let’s not throw any more ridiculous expectations on ourselves. Who decided being 29 meant you had to have cracked it and done everything anyway?
Now – I live in a *nice* suburban area close to London – then there is not a chance in hell I am saving up for a mortgage for round here until I’m 72 years old – especially when you throw in the fact that my monthly wages also have to fund smashed avocados and Prosecco. Now I know many of people achieve this – and well done you! If I were to spend this period of time hustlin’ and staying indoors saving all my pennies – sure I could probs afford a studio flat by the time I hit 30 – but would I have missed out on ‘the best years of my life’.
I haven’t really figured out the balance.
We are the first generation to grow up with an abundance of social media. It has become easier than ever to check out what other people your age are doing and not doing. It has become far too easy to scroll through blogs and find a list of things you must see and do (I am aware of the irony). We are living in a world of instant gratification, and as a result – the minute we hit adulthood, we are expected to fully utilise it in every way possible.
Is that even possible?
Is it any wonder we are slowly being strangled by anxiety brought upon by expectation after expectation?
I don’t really have any idea what my 20’s will bring – but I have an idea. This idea has been formulated by my own wants and desires. I am slowly getting the confidence to just fill my life with what I want, and this is slowly bringing about a sense of peace and contentment – surely that what we’re all after.
So whether you’re 21 or 29 – I hope you find happiness in whatever you’re doing – and are ignoring the bullshit surrounding what you think you should be doing.
This is your life and your timeline.